LMFAO !!!!! That is Funny !!
LMFAO !!!!! That is Funny !!
A Missouri farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbor's house, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your Dad home?"
"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."
"Well, is your Mother here?"
"No sir, she went to town with Dad."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."
The rancher stood there for a minute, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message for ya."
"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzie pregnant."
The boy thought for a moment. "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."
ST400R ATTEX(Smiley)
500 Super Chief
I love the smell of Blendzall in the morning
I hope no one has heard this one, as I didn't read them all.
A man went into a pet store to buy a parrot.
He found a beautiful bird, and decided that was the one, so he bought it and took it home.
When he got home the parrot started talking, but the parrot was very rude.
He swore and swore, and insulted his new owner constantly.
The man tried to talk to the parrot, and improve his language, but nothing worked.
Finally the man got frustrated, and put the parrot in the freezer.
A minute later the man felt guilty, and let the parrot out.
The parrot had changed completely, and said
" My dear sir, I am so sorry for my bad behavior, and it will never happen again.
Please forgive me, but if I may ask, what was it that the chicken did?"
Steve
Bravo , ��Originally Posted by scimanstev
ST400R ATTEX(Smiley)
500 Super Chief
I love the smell of Blendzall in the morning
Most embarrassing moment.
A man waited in line to buy his wife some Tampax. He already felt uneasy, but there was no price in the item.
The cashier called over the intercom, "Tampax price check, isle 6."
A man in hardware mistook Tampax for thumb tax, and boomed back over the intercom, "The kind you push in with your thumb, or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"
Steve
Haha
ST400R ATTEX(Smiley)
500 Super Chief
I love the smell of Blendzall in the morning
The Fire truck
A fireman was working outside the station when a little girl wearing a firefighter's helmet rolled up in a wagon that was decked out like a firetruck, complete with a stepladder hanging from the side and a garden hose coiled up in the middle.
Pulling the wagon were a dog and a cat, each tethered by a rope---one rope to the dog's collar, and one rope, strangely, to the cat's tail.
"What a great firetruck!" said the fireman. The girl smiled. "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig," the fireman continued, "but I think you could go faster if you tied that rope around your cat's collar instead of his tail."
"You're probably right," said the little girl, "but then I wouldn't have a siren!"
ST400R ATTEX(Smiley)
500 Super Chief
I love the smell of Blendzall in the morning
Awesome!
Steve
Good one!
A carburetor walks into a bar, hops up on a stool, says "Gimme a beer and a shot of whiskey!", and proceeds to put a shaft, a lever, a plate, and a bimetallic spring on the bar.
The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of choke?"
ST400R ATTEX(Smiley)
500 Super Chief
I love the smell of Blendzall in the morning
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