joke time

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Thread: joke time

  1. #101
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Southeast Iowa
    Posts
    256
    Little late to the party, but here it goes anyway

    You know why Santa is alway jolly?
    He knows where all the naughty girls live.

  2. #102
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Phoenix,Az.
    Posts
    1,629
    Attached Images

  3. #103
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    TUCSON
    Posts
    777
    IT IS WHAT IT IS

  4. #104
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Hanover,PA
    Posts
    1,012

  5. #105
    I guess we all really can get along!
    Banned

  6. #106
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Caldwell, Idaho
    Posts
    1,174
    Nice one Whipper
    ST400R ATTEX(Smiley)
    500 Super Chief


    I love the smell of Blendzall in the morning

  7. #107
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Phoenix,Az.
    Posts
    1,629
    I can't take credit for this, it was sent to me from a good friend.

    Whipper

  8. #108
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Caldwell, Idaho
    Posts
    1,174
    Quote Originally Posted by whipper-ag View Post
    I can't take credit for this, it was sent to me from a good friend.

    Whipper
    Ok thanks for sharing
    ST400R ATTEX(Smiley)
    500 Super Chief


    I love the smell of Blendzall in the morning

  9. #109
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Caldwell, Idaho
    Posts
    1,174
    Costco Doctor


    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

    It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. A lot cheaper than a doctor."

    So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Costco."

    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

    Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

    The computerprints the following:
    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

    Thank you for shopping at Costco!
    ST400R ATTEX(Smiley)
    500 Super Chief


    I love the smell of Blendzall in the morning

  10. #110
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Hanover,PA
    Posts
    1,012
    THATS JUST TO FUNNY !

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