joke time

[curtisbyrne]

who wants to hear the joke about the bed?

[wedge]

BED ??

[Andyman]

[curtisbyrne]

its not made up yet

[Andyman]

[wedge]

Nether is mine at home !

[Andyman]

An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats at a symphony concert.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The old man didn't budge.

The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager."

Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.
Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old dishevelled man, but with no success.
Finally, they summoned the police.
The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, " Al l right buddy, what's your name?"

"Bob," the old man moaned.

"Where you from, Bob?", asked the police officer.

With a terrible strain in his voice, and without moving, Bob replied;
"The balcony."

[ARGOJIM]

[JoeMeg]

Good one!

[whipper-ag]

Tony in math class

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little TONY. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. " "There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."

Whipper

[JoeMeg]

[Andyman]

Crack me up that was funny whipper

[ARGOJIM]

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little TONY. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. " "There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."

Whipper

That's a good one boys.

[Stoneyridgeboy]

Jesus and his disciples walk into a bar. The waitress asks, "what'll ya have?" Jesus replies, "Just 12 glasses of water." and winks at the disciples.

[whipper-ag]

LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER



Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own f*%@$% business."

Whipper